Wednesday, 22 October 2008

Tonight was weigh-in night at WW. Again, I was very curious to see what I'd lost as I had been eating 16-18 points all week except my birthday, when I went way over and didn't count. I'm supposed to be on 18 points so by keeping to 18 points for one day then 16-17.5 the rest of the days was supposed to make up for the one day of going over.

I was quite fed-up to find I'd stayed the same. Ugh.

I had a chat with my leader about why I still want to lose and she is supportive of it. She said I just need to exercise, which I know ... ugh, I am in such rebelious phase about it. I SO don't feel like it even though I know it will help with weight loss as well as SAD.

Anyway, working it out, there are a number of reasons why I haven't lost. It could be one, a few or all of these reasons:

1) I always put on weight at this time of year. Always.

2) Even though I pointed it in, I know homemade bread is supposedly evil for weight loss. I usually eat Weight Watchers or Danish bread which is light - homemade bread, not so much. I have WW scales so made sure to weigh the bread I ate and point it, but still.

3) I am due on my period and am retaining water.

4) Even though I kept to my points I snacked late at night almost every night, having something quite soon before I went to bed. Basically I spent most of my points from dinnertime onwards.

5) The Italian meal I had for my birthday must have been like a million points.

6) No exercise or even basic active lifestyle. Been v sedentery.

I just felt really fed-up about it (although not as much as I did last week, go figure!) I just feel like it is hard work and requires discipline and juggling to stick to 18 points - I don't want to have to stay on 18 points for the rest of my life just to maintain!! I'm just going to have to force myself to exercise.

Actually, having accepted that, I do feel more motivated about it ... now to use that to put myself into action.

OH and I learnt something else tonight: what I thought was a portion of fruit / veg is totally not a portion, it's more like 2 or 3 sometimes. So when I've been writing that I've eaten 5 portions of fruit / veg, it's usually more like 6-10!!!! Mad.

So - official WW weight: still 9st11.5lb (137.5lb)

50g muesli with skim milk - 3.5

big bowl butternut soup - 0
homemade bread - 1

Afternoon snack
apple - 0.5

roast chicken, skin removed (leg and thigh) - 4
baked new potatoes - 1
green beans steamed in chicken stock with onion and pepper - 0
steamed carrot and broccoli - 0
gravy - 1.5

Evening snack
WW choc eclair - 1.5
Go Ahead fruit bake - 2

WATER: 1 glasses (hey, I was getting weighed!!)
FRUIT & VEG: 8 portions (insane!)
MOVEMENT: minimal

I found myself in a totally baffling position tonight - I was full up, ready for bed and hadn't eaten 16 points like I'm supposed to. I was totally befuddled by this as I've never experienced it before!! I have read or heard of other people moaning about how they struggle to eat all of their points in a day and I've always kind of mentally rolled my eyes and thought, "Gee, give me your problems!" But now I know how it feels.

I am supposed to be on 18 points and a brownie would take care of those last 3 points (I have some in the freezer) but I actually didn't want one!! I was like, "What have I become?!"

So tonight I am going to just accept that I've eaten plenty today, and at 8 portions I'm sure that vegetables, although 0 points, do eventually become points if you eat enough, right? Besides, I'm going out to eat tomorrow night and may or may not make the best choices (I'm being realistic, okay?) so I'd rather save the points than force myself to eat when I don't want to - which is what I'm trying to overcome anyway.

But man, it's weird to sit here with a fully belly and write 15 points as my total for the day. Weird.

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