Friday, 27 April 2007

What's a weight loss diary without 'before' and 'after' pics? Well, these are more like 'before' and 'during' pics as I still want to lose a bit more. Here is what I looked like pre-weight-loss:

And last week at 24.5lb lighter and 2 sizes smaller:

Weigh-in day was two days ago and I lost another 2.5lb!! I am so excited. It was a thrill to fit comfortably in size 12 ... but now my jeans are getting a little loose again and for the first time the possibility of size 10 has become real. They did have a word with me at WW, asking how much I still want to lose but I assured them that I wanted to remain within the healthy range and not drop below it and that even though I've gone down into the next weight bracket (I'm 9st13 now) I wasn't going to drop a point as I'm doing fine on 19 points a day. I just feel like I still have some flab on my belly and hips (I'm fine with everything else) and that because I have a small frame it doesn't look as good on me to be in the top end of the healthy weight range for my height; I look better towards the bottom end. I wish I could just lose off my belly / hips and leave everything else!

Have been toning my arms with simple exercises every day; we'll see when / if it makes a difference. Ritsuko (one of the moms at school) asked if I'd lost weight, she'd noticed it in my face most. One more pound and it's two stone I've lost!

Wednesday, 25 April 2007

Tonight I was photographing Matt and Helen (their engagement session) and we got chatting about ages. I was 19 when I got engaged and had just turned 20 when Grant and I were married; Helen has just turned 20 and I'll be photographing their wedding in July. When I mentioned that I've been married 11 years, Helen blurted out, "Wow, I hope I look as good as you in 11 years' time!"


Thursday, 19 April 2007

Weigh-in day and I was thrilled to bits to find I've lost 3 pounds!! Woohoo! Should go to Spain more often.

Loving my new jeans from Sainsbury's (size 12) - they fit so well and I feel great when I wear them.

Friday, 6 April 2007

I feel so much better today, things are more in perspective. Feel a bit sheepish, actually, but in a way it's good that gaining a little freaked me out so much - I'm more motivated and more careful with my tracking and points now. I know WW works and I know it's a long-term lifestyle change, not a quick fix or anything to get obsessive about.

Of course, some retail therapy always helps! Today I bought some trousers and skirts and a top - all size 12 with a couple of size 10's thrown in for kicks and giggles, and they all fit beautifully! I'm remembering what it's all about - I'm in a healthy weight range, I look good (or better than I did before) and I feel great, and my clothes fit and that's what it's all about, not a number on a scale. I feel and look like I lost this week, so who cares what the scales say.

Must lose the bit of flab on my belly, hips and bum, but healthily, not obsessively. Am at peace with that half pound, and in a really good place mentally.

Thursday, 5 April 2007

Weigh-in day and I was devastated to be told I'd gained half a pound. I know, talk about over-reacting - to come home and cry over a couple of hundred grams is pathetic, but it was a crappy end to a crappy day. I need to figure out how and why it happened.

When you're on maintenance you can eat around 6 extra points a day and not gain (although everyone does differ) and there is no way I ate that many, no way at all. I did sneak a couple of the boys crisps here and there but even when I do that I mark it on my tracker and I've not gone over any day by more than a couple of points, and that wasn't even every day! We had the Sisters' Meal on Friday and I didn't pig out but I wasn't strict, and ate a whole helping of banoffee pie ... but even then, I had 14.5 points which I'd saved for the meal, plus the theoretical 6 extra when maintaining!

I guess what upset me is being so close to how I want to look, and then having this step backward. I've never not lost, so to gain (let alone stay the same!) was really upsetting. It makes me afraid, I don't want to gain back the weight I lost.

My leader was really nice, she was telling me to just relax, that it might mean nothing, that there may be no reason at all why it's happened, it could be my body adjusting and doing its own thing. She said to just stay calm and see what the next week or two bring - yeah right, I'm off to Spain on Monday, I can just imagine what the next week or two will look like. It's made me feel crappy about the holiday as well, like I can't just enjoy eating out etc. I've been out to eat before and made wise choices and still lost that week, but this half a pound has freaked me out. But I don't want to turn into one of those women who are so boring to eat out with, so strict and obsessed. But I don't want to gain any more either!!

I know I'm overreacting, but I can't help it. I think it's the perfectionist in me: doing WW, must lose every single week. Not realistic, but there it is. My leader was saying that if it's even just a couple of ounces over last week's weight it will count it as half a pound as the scales only measure in half pounds, and it might not even be that much.

I need to just get over it and get real. Maybe I wouldn't be as upset if I hadn't had such a crappy day and pressured week.