I had a chat with my friend Rebecca, who is a WW leader. I laid it all out on her (whinge, whinge) about how I'm struggling, why I'm struggling, etc and asked what she'd advise. She suggested I take a break from counting points and doing WW for a bit and one of two things would happen: either the weight I'd gain during that time would shock me into action and I'd be motivated again, or I would realise I'm just not ready to lose or follow the WW plan right now.
So I took a break. It's only been 5 days and you know what? It has really helped. I have realised that I am ready. I do feel better when eating right. I do want it badly enough. I am ready to stop gaining. I'm ready to accept that it's not always easy, but it is always worth it.
I have been finding it hard to be on low points. I am supposed to be on 18 points and have been cruising along just below that. Why? Because I hoard my points because I feel like I'm going to run out and not have enough to account for my evening snacking. And then, come evening, I have all these points left over so I eat them, just because I can. And then I go to bed. Not good.
So I'm going to try what my friend Rachel does: she starts her points right before supper instead of each morning. Then she has her supper, eats whatever snacks she needs to (not eating just because she can) and finds it easier to pull back on breakfast or lunch if she needs to. So that's what I'm going to try, to see if it works out a bit better.
I'm also not going to be so rigid about not going over 18 points. I'd rather eat 20, 21, even 22 healthy points in a day and take a little longer to lose the extra pounds than cave again because "it's too hard".
I'm on the fence about whether I want to go and weigh in on Tuesday. Grant was remarking that he can definitely see that I've lost, no matter what the scale said last time, and I can feel I have lost. My period is over so no more water retention. BUT I've been naughty this weekend and will probably see that on the scale and I'm in a good place mentally and don't want to set myself back with a bad weigh-in (again).
I think I'm going to skip it and go next week.
So I'm going to start my points before dinner tomorrow night and go from there. My only worry this week is that we have friends coming to stay the night on Friday and although I'll be cooking we have to factor in some treats, right? Well, we do, that's how it's done in my world lol. And then on Saturday we'll be having Chinese with Rebecca and her family. Sure, I can and will make healthy choices but I won't be denying myself of everything, as what's the point? So we'll see how that goes and how it affects next week's weigh in.
I need to accept that it's okay to just maintain right now and tackle the weight loss goal in the new year, if that's what needs to happen. I need to adjust my expectations so that any loss is a bonus, but maintaining is my goal. I'll work on that.