What I wore to church today:







I wanted to wear these shoes but I don't wear peeptoes with pantihose and it was too cold to go with bare legs.



Cardigan: BHS
Chiffon blouse: eBay
Corduroy skirt: eBay (Next)
Shoes: Clarks outlet
Spotty shoes: eBay
Pearl bracelets: thrifted
Pearl ring: Bon Marche (on sale)
Pear stud earrings: Sainsbury's
Nail polish: dollar store

I said my my last post that I'd be food journaling this week but that's not going to happen. Things are a little busy but I am keeping track.

I am hosting a book swap party this evening and I'm baking cupcakes for it and those who are coming have said they are also bringing some nibbles. I will have a few but try not to overindulge ... famous last words ...

Today was weigh in day and it sucked. Do I sound disgruntled enough? I was SO FED UP to stand on the scales and be told I'd gained 400g! I honestly have not been exactly on my daily points, I have gone over, but certainly not over the weekly points allowance. I was in a filthy mood, especially since last week had shown a gain as well.

I felt better when I realised that last week I'd only gained 100g, not 300g like I'd thought.

This week's gain is probably due to the fact that I haven't been getting enough sleep (which can affect weight loss) and the fact that I am "enjoying" that special time of the month and I'm bloated like a whale (TMI!) I have had a few treats this week (sushi, carrot cake, French bread) but really not enough to result in almost a pound of weight gain.

This week I am going to blog my food journal and really work hard at staying on or below my daily points and not using any weekly points. So boring, but apparently necessary for me.

What I wore to church on Sunday.







Dress: Tesco (on sale)
Cardigan: eBay (I think)
Shoes: Tesco
Ring: eBay
Garnet necklace: gift from my in-laws
Ball stud earrings: Matalan
Nail polish: dollar store

Sunday was weigh-in day and I didn't really expect it to go well. Although I'd been pretty well behaved all week we had gone out to dinner with friends (which NEVER happens) and I'd had some yummy food that wasn't too bad ... and followed it up with a slice of cheesecake, which was pretty bad.

Then, while running errands with Grant, we passed a burger chain that we wanted to try so I had a burger there. It was delicious, and I did opt for the smallest one, but it still put me over my points.

So when I stood on my digital scales on Sunday morning and saw that I'd lost around 4kg I knew there was something not quite right! I got off them, reset them and tried again, only to be told I'd gained weight. The next few times I stood on them they told me something different each time.

I went to the other bathroom to try the glass digital scales there but they produce a slightly different result than my usual ones so I still didn't know if I'd gained or lost.

I went back to my bathroom with both scales and eventually got a consistent reading from my usual scales - I'd gained 100g. That was pretty much expected.

Then I worked out that the glass scales weigh 1.1kg more than my usual ones, so I'll just weigh on them from now on and subtract 1.1kg from what they say to see how much I've lost each week.

(My goal weight is not about the number on the scale, it's about how I feel and look and fit my clothes, but I do want to keep track of my actual loss each week rather than suddenly have a non-existent 1.1kg "gain" just because I switched scales.)

I am a bit frustrated that I seem to take two steps forward and one step back but at the same time I feel like life happens and so long as I just keep plodding along I'll get there eventually.

I can feel and see the changes in my body, which is encouraging. This week I found myself exclaiming to Grant, "I'm so happy my boobs are finally getting smaller!"

He gave me a, "What's wrong with this picture?" kind of look, lol! (But let me tell ya, F-cup boobs are not all they are cracked up to be.)

My hair loss feels like it's increased but I have such thick hair it's not really a worry. It happened last time I lost weight too and I know it will eventually slow to normal rates.

I tried on a dress that I've been looking forward to wearing and it fits! So exciting.

A little while ago we went to the hot springs with friends and while I wasn't exactly uber confident parading around in my bathing suit, at least I wasn't mortified. I'm looking forward to buying a cute suit in summer.

So, goal for this week is drink plenty of water, track everything I eat, and don't go over my daily points. So far so good.

Just a little shopping and lunch with Grant (we didn't actually buy anything in the end). I was cold and wanted comfortable clothes so I decided to wear boots and leggings. When deciding what to wear on top that was long enough to cover my bum and thighs I decided to try on this summer dress and see if it fitted me yet - hooray, it does! I wore it over a long sleeved black t-shirt with a flowy cardigan on top and it was super comfy and warm.







Cardigan: Matalan
Long sleeved t-shirt: Tesco
Dress: eBay (Dorothy Perkins)
Leggings: Matalan
Boots: Clarks outlet store at Boundary Mill
Necklace: chain from Etsy, little initial tags from eBay and stamped by me
Spike bracelet: eBay
Chain bracelet: eBay
Black bow ring: eBay

Why I prefer to wear makeup.

I've talked a little bit on this blog about learning things to do with clothing, outfits, makeup and losing weight so I thought I'd do a post sharing where I've learned things from - and what exactly I've learned.

TV shows
I watched a lot of How to Look Good Naked and 10 Years Younger and learned about using belts, magic knickers (Spanx) for smoothing my midsection when wearing dresses, and accessorising.

Blogs
What I Wore Today got me started on my colourful shoes kick. I don't follow her blog anymore but while I did I learned about layering items of clothing to put together different outfits, I learned to look at everything when out shopping, including strapless or sleeveless items that I'd normally not wear (layer a cardigan over or a top underneath).
T Minus T Plus has some great inspiration outfits - and unlike most fashion blogs, she is not stick thin, proving that you can look stylish and put together even if you're plus-sized.
What I Wore is great for dipping in and out of. I love her individual style.
Dailylook is very current and teaches me about the latest trends. (Plus each item featured is available for purchase at a discounted price, if you're looking to buy.)
This post, this post and this post taught me all about how to find the most flattering fit of jeans. Seriously, you have to check these posts out - they are so informative and funny too!
Other fashion blogs I follow are:
After Style Comes Fashion
Cotton & Curls
Freckles in April
How Not to Dress Like a Mom
J's Everyday Fashion
La Vie Petite
Lilly's Style
Merrick's Art
Pink Margarite Pearl
What She Wore 365
Welcome to the gOOd life

Books
The Trinny and Susannah books are awesome for learning about what suits my figure and why, and what is appropriate for which occasion. Here are some I found particularly helpful:
Body Shape Bible
What Not To Wear for Every Occasion
What Not to Wear
What You Wear Can Change Your Life

YouTube
I learned how to do makeup properly by watching tutorials on YouTube. Some of the channels I found particularly helpful are:
amarixe
glamourista16
lisaeldridgedotcom
MakeupByTiffanyD
RachhLoves

Pinterest
Aaah, Pinterest. What did I do before Pinterest? Such a source of inspiration of all kinds. Here are some of my Project Jen related boards where you can see the things I've pinned (they link back to the original source):
Clothing and jewellery craft projects
Fashion
Jewellery
Makeup
Nails
Shoes

Shopping with a friend
Honestly, the best way that I learned what does and does not suit my body was when I had an event to go to and I had to find an outfit for it and went intensively shopping and tried everything on.

It was after I'd lost weight and had to replace my entire wardrobe, so I literally had nothing to wear for the occasion. Grant aws receiving a commendation and I was going to the ceremony. I took my extremely stylish friend Rachel with me and hit an outlet mall and then moved onto regular stores and just tried on everything that caught my eye.

It was kind of depressing. There I was, with this cute new figure, and I felt ugly and lumpy and gross because 95% of what I tried on didn't work. BUT I learned very quickly what did and didn't work and why. Now I can glance at an item on the rack and know if it's even worth trying on. Some things just straight up are never going to look good on me (hello, bias cut anything) so I don't waste time trying them.

I hope some of these resources are helpful to you! Let me know if you have a resource that you'd like to share, or if you check any of these out and they help.

I didn't know what to expect on the scales this morning. I felt like I'd lost this week but on the other hand I hadn't really expected to. Let's just say there was a bit of comfort eating this week as I've been a bit stressed.

So I was thrilled to find I'd lost 1kg! That's a little over 2lb.

That puts my total loss so far at 12.2kg (26.9lb / 1 stone 12.9lb) and I still have 7.8kg (17lb / 1 stone 3lb) to go to my goal weight, which is in the middle of my healthy BMI.

BUT I only need to lose another 2.3kg (5lb) to reach a healthy BMI, which is awesome.

I tried this recipe today and it was delicious so I thought I'd share it. The recipe is for home-made veggie burgers. The whole recipe is 16 ProPoints / Points Plus so either make
- 4 burgers = 4pp each
- 5 or 6 burgers = 3pp each
- 8 burgers = 2pp each
depending on how thick you like your burgers.

I also think you could really change up the flavours with curry powder, chilli sauce, whatever takes your fancy.

Here's the recipe:

1 tin chickpeas, drained and rinsed
1 large or 2 small carrots
about 1 cup kale or spinach
5-6 basil leaves (I used dried)
2 tbsp parmesan cheese
4 tbsp rolled oats
1 egg
salt and pepper to taste

Put the carrot, kale, and basil into a food processor and pulse it a little first, and then added the rest of the ingredients and blend thoroughly. Form into patties and fry on a hot pan spritzed with a little oil.

I had one 4pp patty on a slice of toast with a skim of mayo for lunch (5pp total) and it was delicious. I think a patty on its own would make a nice snack, or you could go all the way and put it on a burger bun and load up with tomato, pickles, onion, lettuce, etc.

Sunday was my weigh-in day again and I lost 300g. I would have liked to have lost more as I was very well behaved last week but a loss is a loss and I'll take it!

This week has started with bad eating - out and about for 2 days straight, which makes it harder to eat right - but I'm really trying to get back on track and have a better loss this coming Sunday. We'll see how it goes...

What I wore to church.





Skirt: thrifted
White cardigan: Sainsbury's
Polka dot skirt: thrifted
Raspberry blazer: thrifted
Black shoes: thrifted
Necklace: can't remember
Black tights: can't remember

So today was weigh-in day and I was dreading standing on the scales. After last week's fabulous loss, I've had a really bad eating week. There was a lot going on this week. On Tuesday Grant and I were running errands and we got sushi for lunch. Then we went out to dinner as a family to celebrate one year in NZ, plus we got ice cream for dessert. On Wednesday I had a really stressful day, resigned from my job, had a newborn session ... all on top of a really bad night's sleep. By dinner time I was just fed up and we just got pizza. Then last night Paul (neighbour and Grant's BFF) had a birthday party. We only went for a short while but had some delicious naughty food while we were there. Oh, and I baked his two cakes so we had cake at home too, with milk chocolate ganache on.

All that to lead up to this morning's weigh-in, which showed a 1kg gain. I am sad but totally expected and deserved it.

This week I am really going to try hard to track, to stay relaxed and calm and on top of things even though I have so much to do and the kids are on school holiday. Friday and Saturday are my last two shifts and then I am done working for Hannahs and will actually get my weekends back, hooray!

I know that things don't always go according to plan but that I can still make healthy choices rather than just giving in and eating badly. I am going to try hard this week.

I didn't track what I ate yesterday as it's my no-count day and I tend to relax a little, and perhaps eat the things I've been craving or missing that are a little higher in points and don't really fit into the WW plan.

I weigh on Sunday mornings and I'm thrilled to report that last week I lost 1.9kg! That's a little over 4lb. I'm so happy. That brings my total loss so far to 11.9kg - over half my original goal of losing 20kg.

Breakfast - 5 ProPoints
egg fried without oil in a non-stick pan (2pp)
slice of toast (2pp)
low fat soft cheese instead of butter (1pp)

Lunch - 7 ProPoints
tuna mayonnaise sandwich (7pp)

Snack - 3 ProPoints
grapes (0pp)
slice of toast (2pp)
low fat soft cheese with a skim of jam (1pp)

Dinner - 7 ProPoints
beef stew (5pp)
rice (2pp)
stir fried veg (0pp)

Snack - 1 ProPoints
1 square of dark chocolate (1pp)

Snack - 6 ProPoints
Pronutro cereal (5pp)
skim milk (1pp)

TOTAL - 29 ProPoints

Breakfast - 5 ProPoints
egg fried without oil in a non-stick pan (2pp)
slice of toast (2pp)
low fat soft cheese instead of butter (1pp)

Lunch - 7 ProPoints
tuna mayonnaise sandwich (7pp)

Snack - 0 ProPoints
grapes (0pp)

Dinner -10 ProPoints
low fat oven chips (3pp)
oven fish (6pp)
low fat mayo (1pp)

Snack - 0 ProPoints
kiwi fruit (0pp)

Snack - 6 ProPoints
Pronutro cereal (5pp)
skim milk (1pp)

TOTAL - 28 ProPoints

Breakfast - 5 ProPoints
egg fried without oil in a non-stick pan (2pp)
slice of toast (2pp)
low fat soft cheese instead of butter (1pp)

Lunch - 5 ProPoints
beef stew (5pp)

Snack - 0 ProPoints
kiwi fruit (0pp)

Dinner - 9 ProPoints
Chinese style pork (4pp)
rice (2pp)
stir fried veg (0pp)
small piece of pizza (3pp)

Snack - 6 ProPoints
brownie (6pp)

Snack - 7 ProPoints
Pronutro cereal (6pp)
skim milk (1pp)

TOTAL - 29 ProPoints + 3 Weekly ProPoints

Breakfast - 5 ProPoints
egg fried without oil in a non-stick pan (2pp)
slice of toast (2pp)
low fat soft cheese instead of butter (1pp)

Lunch - 6 ProPoints
2 x Mountain Bread wraps (4pp)
feta cheese (2pp)
stir-fried carrot, onion, broccoli and beetroot (0pp)

Snack - 0 ProPoints
orange (0pp)
kiwi fruit (0pp)

Dinner - 14 ProPoints
jacket potatoes (8pp)
baked beans (4pp)
cheese (2pp)

Snack - 4 ProPoints
grapes (0pp)
Weetbix cereal (3pp)
skim milk (1pp)

Snack - 5 ProPoints
egg fried without oil in a non-stick pan (2pp)
slice of toast (2pp)
low fat soft cheese instead of butter (1pp)

TOTAL - 29 ProPoints + 5 Weekly ProPoints

You'll notice I have some food habits - I eat the same thing for breakfast every day and have cereal in the evenings before bed. (If I don't then I wake up hungry in the wee hours of the morning!)

Breakfast - 5 ProPoints
egg fried without oil in a non-stick pan (2pp)
slice of toast (2pp)
low fat soft cheese instead of butter (1pp)

Lunch - 5 ProPoints
butternut soup (1pp)
tortellini (4pp)

Snack - 1 ProPoint
orange (0pp)
kiwi fruit (0pp)
sour cream and chive flavoured corn puffs (1pp)

Dinner - 8 ProPoints
beef stew (5pp)
pasta (3pp)

Snack - 2 ProPoints
two squares of dark chocolate (2pp)

Snack - 6 ProPoints
Pronutro cereal (5pp)
skim milk (1pp)

TOTAL - 27 ProPoints

I've had two weeks of not tracking, eating things I shouldn't, being disorganised and unprepared ... and it's shown with a 400g weight gain.

This week my goals are:
- drink more water
- track everything I eat
- experiment with new recipes

I thought I'd blog my food diary here to keep me accountable. So here is today's food diary:

Breakfast - 5 ProPoints
egg fried without oil in a non-stick pan (2pp)
slice of toast (2pp)
low fat soft cheese instead of butter (1pp)

Lunch - 3 ProPoints
butternut soup (1pp)
half a slice of toast with margarine (2pp)

Snack - 5 ProPoints
grapes (0pp)
nut bar (5pp)

Dinner - 8 ProPoints
Pollo in Pottachio (3pp)
pasta (3pp)
cheese (2pp)

Snack - 0 ProPoints
orange (0pp)

Snack - 6 ProPoints
Pronutro cereal (5pp)
skim milk (1pp)

TOTAL - 27 ProPoints

I just wanted to make a little note of some of the changes I've noticed as I've lost weight (10.4kg so far - that's 22.9lb or 1 stone 8.9lb):

- My dresses and pants have become longer - I especially noticed this with a particular maxi dress which started touching the ground.

- I've had to tighten my belt and have made new holes in between the original holes so I can tighten it a little at a time, as needed. This is a picture from a few weeks ago - I've moved onto the next hole already.



- My clavicles have emerged, yay! And my double chin as mostly disappeared, double yay!

- Noah moves his head a lot on my upper chest when we are cuddling. I'm not as padded so he moves around to find a comfortable spot.

- My knees feel better. We tend to think of being overweight in terms of size and how we look, but my knees could really feel the extra weight I was carrying. They feel fine now.

- It's easier to cross my legs and bend down for things, like when painting my toenails.

- My watch band is looser - for a while it was too loose on one hole, and too tight on the next, which was annoying.

- I'm having so much fun pulling out old favourite clothes that I can fit into again!

- I feel more confident. I also feel less panicked when planning to attend events - I know I'll be able to put together a cute outfit, rather than wondering what on earth I'll wear and feeling unattractive.

Some of the down-side to the weight loss process:

- Being in-between sizes for a while, when one size starts becoming too big but the next size down is still too tight.

- MAJOR hair loss - I had this last time as well and apparently it's normal. My hair is seriously coming out in handfuls - lucky it's so thick!

- Certain favourite items of clothing becoming too big so I can no longer wear them.

Overall I'm quite happy to accept the cons because the pros "outweigh" them (sorry for the pun!)

These are some outfits from the past 3 years or so. I've learned a lot about what does and doesn't work on my body. I have an hourglass figure which means that because I have curves I need to define my waist or I just look big. Because I have a generous bust and a short torso I need to wear V-neck or scoop neck tops or else I look like a shelf of bosom from my chin to my waist.

What doesn't work:
Mid-length skirts
High necklines
Baggy jeans
Loose, flowy tops

What does work:
Knee-length or full length skirts
V-neck or scoop neck
Well fitting jeans
Defined waist

Things I enjoy:
Colourful shoes
Necklaces, earrings, bracelets, rings
Experimenting with belts
Fishnet stockings
Layering

Some short skirt outfits:





The same black skirt, worn seven ways:





The same brown tweed skirt, worn four ways:



Floral skirts:



Outfits with jeans:











Outfits with jeggings:



Maxi dresses:



Maxi skirts:



Pants, leggings, skinny jeans:



Shorter dresses:





As you can see from these photos my weight has fluctuated. But even at my biggest I still made an effort. I think it's even more important to do so when you are overweight - not only for looks but to make yourself feel good about yourself and to be the best you.

I thought I'd share some photographs of my journey. I do want to say before beginning, though, that the judgments I make of myself do not reflect on anyone else. For example, if I say something about my horrid baggy jeans, I just mean that baggy jeans do not work on my body - I'm not judging anyone else who wears baggy jeans. Mmmkay?

Right, now let's get the "before" photos out of the way, shall we? (I can't believe I'm posting these.)

When I started Project Jen I actually asked Grant to take photographs of me for my "before" shots. I didn't do anything to my appearance. It was at the end of a regular day and this is pretty much how I looked every day.





My, oh my. No makeup, baggy jeans, unflattering T-shirt, unkempt hair just pulled back, overweight, frumpy.

About the only positive things I can say about my appearance are:
1) I had a decent bra which lifted my bust and gave me a good shape, and
2) At least I was wearing earrings.

To prove that this was pretty much how I dressed most of the time, here are some more "before" shots from my life around then. No makeup, messy hair, plain T-shirt:



This was me actually making an effort for family photos! Baggy, ill-fitting jeans, unflattering T-shirt. At least I put on a bit of makeup and released my hair from the clip.



On holiday with Grant's parents. Loose jeans, boring polo T-shirt, hair pulled back into clips, minimal makeup.



On a typical day. Before I realised that crew-neck T-shirts are most unbecoming on my body shape.



Once I had lost a bunch of weight on Weight Watchers I started to enjoy shopping.

(March 2007) This photo was taken when I got to the top end of my healthy BMI (my official WW goal). I went on to lose another 6kg (13lb) but when this photo was taken I felt like a million bucks. This top was the first size 10 (US size 6) item of clothing that fit me. You can also see that I had started to experiment a bit with my hair, pulling some pieces forward, and wear jewellery. Still in the baggy jeans but at least they were a modern colour / wash.





(May 2007) The night Grant received a commendation for his police work. This picture isn't as flattering as this outfit was in real life. I felt so good that night! And you can see that I had started thinking more about putting outfits together and straightening my hair.



(July 2007) This was when I was at my slimmest. I loved this blouse. Still in the baggy jeans (they were so comfy!) but at least they had the more modern wash to them and the fading on the legs was a bit more flattering. Started pulling my hair to the side and straightening it, which was so much more attractive than just scraped back (like in my before photos).



(July 2007) This was a photo taken on a typical day. Grant came home from work and found Noah and I asleep on the couch. You can see that although I was wearing jeans and a T-shirt they were properly fitting jeans (in a size 8! US 6!) and a pretty floral T-shirt with a tie detail. Just as comfy as my before outfit but so much more attractive.



(February 2008) Experimenting with self-portraits. (And apparently with hair.) At my slimmest. Although it's just jeans and a T-shirt, the T-shirt is V-neck, which I had learned is more flattering on me, and the jeans are well fitted and more modern.



(July 2009) Still experimenting with hair. This was the start of my coloured shoes obsession.



(July 2009) Cut my hair short. Although I'm just wearing a T-shirt I had learned to buy cute ones with a little detail on them.



(August 2010) The picture I currently use as my avatar. I had learned to do makeup.



2009-2010 is when the weight started piling on. We were in the process of emigrating (for 2 years!) and trying to sell two houses. But even though I was gaining weight I didn't give up on Project Jen and was still learning about and experimenting with fashion and makeup. Here's a pic of me in jeggings, which was a whole new thing for me:



There are no "after" photos on Project Jen, only "during" ones. It's an ongoing thing. I am constantly learning new things and figuring out what does and doesn't work for me. But one of the things I've learned is that it is worth the effort - not because people see me differently, but because I see myself differently and feel so much better.

Oh my gosh, it's been an AGE since I posted on here! But don't worry, Project Jen is still on the go. Although I have gained a lot of weight while emigrating, I've gone on to lose almost half of it - but Project Jen was never just about weight, it was about making the most of myself and going "from frumpy to fabulous" and that can be done whatever my size.

I thought I'd do a post about the changes that I have made along this journey.

I started this blog and project in December 2006. As I said in my first post, "What is Project Jen? It's a makeover project. It's me reaching a point where I'm tired of looking frumpy and scruffy and unkempt. I'm done childbearing and now I'm reclaiming my body and fine tuning it. My goals include:

- losing 14kg (2st3lb / 31lb) and fitting into a size 12
- focusing on better grooming, including nails, using a hair straightener and taking more care with my make-up
- trendier clothes
- drinking 2 litres of water a day
- taking care to eat a little better / less

Why am I suddenly motivated to do this? I have reached a point where I am just tired all the time because I'm unfit. My clothes don't fit me because I'm between sizes, and those that do fit don't look good because I'm overweight. I'm fed up of the "muffin top" (the bulge above my waistband) and my big bum. My body finally feels like it's back to "normal" (ha!) after having Noah and I just feel like my efforts at losing weight by exercising will pay off. I've done it before and I know I can do it again. Because I've done it before I know that it takes discipline and motivation."

And it has. But it's been so worth it. Let's go over my initial goals and see how I've done with them.

Lose 14kg (2st3lb / 31lb) and fit into a size 12
I went on to lose around 15kg (2st5lb / 33lb) and was thrilled to be wearing clothes in sizes 8-10! What a feeling. I kept the weight off for over 3 years, until the extremely stressful period of emigrating from the UK to New Zealand, which took two years. I'm working on eradicating the resulting weight gain.

Focus on better grooming, including nails, using a hair straightener and taking more care with my make-up
I am proud to say I am doing great with this! Anytime my toes are likely to be on show in sandals I have my toenails painted (I only let them go bare in the middle of winter). I do my nails and straighten my hair and keep it in an actual style. I spent a lot of time watching YouTube tutorials and practising and can now do my makeup well and I actually bother to do my face when I'm going out in public. I experiment with different makeup looks. Just this week two people complimented me on my eyeliner :) All around, a big change from how I used to be. It does help that I don't have very young kids anymore and have more time!

Trendier clothes
Hmm, tricky to answer this with a straight up "yes" as I don't always buy into the latest trends but I do make an effort to put together outfits and accessorise. Fashion is such a personal way of expressing yourself. I may not be in the latest and greatest runway trends but I am wearing my style and making an effort so in my opinion I've met this goal. (You can see some of my outfits here on my blog.)

Drink 2 litres of water a day; take care to eat a little better / less
Yes - although water will always be a bit of a battle for me. 2 litres is just too much for me but I am definitely drinking more / as much as I can. As for eating, Weight Watchers has taught me what I need to know in terms of what's appropriate to eat and how much. I don't always follow the plan to the letter but right now I am very focused on it and losing weight without feeling deprived or resorting to faddy diets, so another goal met.

Overall this project (which is an ongoing one) has been a resounding success for me and I feel so much better about myself. It's wonderful to receive compliments on my clothes, jewellery, makeup and hair, and how put-together I look. I don't have to feel like I'm letting Grant down when I'm out with him, or embarrassing the kids.

Don't get me wrong, I don't swan out of the house looking like a fashion plate every day. But making small changes can make a big difference - like bothering to put on some mascara and blush, taking an extra minute to add a pretty necklace or earrings, buying pretty things instead of boring practical basics. One of the things I've learned is that those little things can be done no matter what your size is - so what if you are overweight, you deserve to have nice things and look cute anyway. In fact, it's even more important to make a bit of effort to look pulled together.

So here's to more of the same. In fact today I am going shopping with a friend and will be looking out for some cute accessories. I'm wearing skinny jeans, pink ballet flats, a bit of silver jewellery and subtle makeup and my nails are hot pink. I feel good - and that's what it's all about.

Whew, it's been a while! But I'm glad to say that I am back at WW and actually enjoying it. HOORAY! I thought I'd never get there in my head.

I finally got to that magical place where I felt motivated. Although, I have to admit I am more easily distracted that when I first did WW and it doesn't take much to almost derail my efforts and get me off track. But I have done well so far.

I've been back for about 3 weeks. I went back to my meeting, trying a morning meeting instead of the evening one (it works better for me!) on 19 May and weighed 10st7lb (147lb) - yikes, that's 1lb over my original goal weight! That's 1lb over my healthy range! It totally freaked me out and that was it, I was back in the game.

In the first week I lost 3.5lb!! I was totally over the moon, especially since I'd been a bit naughty on the weekend and hadn't been sure I'd lose.

The second week I was also a bit naughty on the weekend and stayed the same that week - I was glad of it and glad I hadn't gained!

And then the third week I lost 2lb. I was so thrilled. I'd not felt as if I'd lost that week so it was a nice surprise.

I also mentioned to my leader, Lesley, that I was due my second gold star for my keyring - actually I was due it in March - for staying within my goal weight for a second year running. She made me stand up in front of the meeting, congratulated me and gave me the star, asked me to tell everyone my story and how I'd accomplished it, etc.

It was a really good experience for me. Since losing weight down to 9st5lb I have only been watching my weight go up a bit, then get it back down a bit, then putting a bit more on, fretting about the junk I was eating, trying to get motivated, etc. But you know what? I lost enough weight to get into a healthy range and have kept enough off to stay in my healthy range for two years. It was time I owned it and gave myself credit for it. So I really enjoyed that feeling of success and accomplishment.

This week I am feeling very motivated and on-track. Grant is working this weekend which will make it easier for me to stay on track! I find it's when he's off and we go and about and do stuff that I end up eating badly.

I have also found that if I stay off bread and rolls I am waaaaay less tired and don't have that desperate "I neeeed a nap" thing in the afternoon. Hmmmmm. I was always one of those people who said, "I could never give up bread," but I'm finding it quite easy, to be honest. It got to the point where any refined carbs such as bread, cake, cookies just make me feel like crap when I ate them - completely lethargic, irritible and tired. So much so that I don't even want them now, and when I do, I'll have a little in the evening because I'm going to bed soon anyway. It's working for me.

So here's to new beginnings and fresh starts! I'm now aiming to get down to around 9st (126lb) and see how I feel, how I look and how much hard work it is to maintain it. If it's a pain to stick to that weight I'm not going to force myself to - life is about more than being thin. It's also about birthday cake, eating out with friends and family, little treats and delicious new recipes and I have to have room in my life for those things.

I'm still around! Have been working on the balance thing and still struggling with SAD. Am getting there in my head with regards to exercise - you know how you have to reach that point mentally? Eating ... not too bad although had two very naughty days on Friday and Saturday. I just feel cruddy for it, so it's not tempting to repeat. My oven has packed up, so no baking for now.

One day at a time.